The quiet work of changing your mind

Lately I’ve been thinking about how we hold our opinions. Not just what we believe, but how we carry those beliefs over time.

Everyone has opinions. Some come and go. Others stick for years. As we get older, many of our stances on big things (religion, politics, ethics) start to really settle in deep. They’re shaped by a mix of experience, emotion, upbringing, and personal values. And sometimes by fear, pain, joy, or plain repetition.

But just because an opinion is old doesn’t mean it’s still valuable.

Like changing the oil in a car or sharpening a kitchen knife, our beliefs need regular checkups. When something polarizing comes up and you feel your gut lean one way, pause for a second and ask yourself:

• Where is that opinion coming from?
• Is it still serving you?
• Is it still yours, or just something you’ve gotten used to holding?

Some opinions are automatic. Like muscle memory. You reach for them without thinking. They’re familiar tools, worn smooth from use. But every now and then, it’s worth asking if they still fit the job.

The ideas, lifestyles, and values we are drawn to shape our opinions more than we realize. When I became a parent, something in me started to shift. I wasn’t just thinking about me anymore. I was thinking about the kind of world I wanted my kids to grow up in. About what kind of example I was setting. What I used to consider “personal choices” suddenly had ripple effects. My stance on things like work, money, health, community… they all got re-examined. Not all at once, but in tiny moments that add up over time.

Some beliefs held up. Others didn’t. I found myself rethinking opinions I had once considered settled, because the lens had changed. I was no longer the center of my own story.

That’s the quiet work of changing your mind. Not a dramatic reversal or a grand announcement. Just small shifts in how you see things and the willingness to ask yourself why.

Opinions shouldn’t be static. They should be alive, flexible, and ready to evolve with new information, new experience, or just a better question.

So take care of them. Check in once in a while. Especially with the stuff you think is “settled.” The world changes. You change. Let your opinions reflect that.